'Legally Blonde'

I am partial to a bit of cutesy fluff, and sometimes even the pinkest shade of pink is almost never pink enough for me, however I must admit that I was extremely hesistant to watch the musical version of 'Legally Blonde' as I felt that the chick from 'Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps' would never do justice to Reese Witherspoon's Elle Woods. I was pleasantly surprised though. Besides the 'never judge a book by its cover' cliché, here are some thoughts and such:

• Why is being a brunette such a disability? Okay, fair enough, the whole damn thing is meant to be all about blondes, I get that, I am by no means trying to take that away from them but why, just why does the brunette race always have to be portrayed as ultra McSerious? The blondes get to be all ditzy and adorable and fun, the brunettes meanwhile not so much. Nope, instead we are just dull, boring and generally very yawn. I'll have you know that us dark-haired chicks are super sultry, sassy and sexy. I call for a far more fair representation people. Angelina, Megan and I are not amused.

• I hate Warner. Not the kind of hate that would inspire one to commit a criminal offence, but the more low-key, passive type that makes the hatred-filled individual throw daggers with their eyes at the said victim. I heart metaphorical daggers! Warner reminds me of my callous, inhuman ex, he brutally kicks poor, unsuspecting Elle to the kerb (that's 'curb' for you pesky English Americans) just because she doesn't fit the mould, rather like my callous, inhuman ex. And a few nano-seconds later he has found himself a Vivian/Vivienne (however it is she's spelling her name these days) just because she fittingly slots into his ideal lifestyle, rather like, yup, you guessed it, my callous, inhuman ex. For those who wonder, I do not mean literally, he is not an alien or a robot, he is actually very much human. As far as I know anyway. And then *gasp*, Warner assumes he can just pick up from where he left off, how dare he? Elle is not some Barbie doll he can just toy with, you know, just drop when he's bored, and then return to on a whim when his heart desires. Okay, in all fairness perhaps she is a Barbie doll but surely you get my drift here??

• I love Emmett. Emmett is geek chic, which was so totally 'in' a few years ago, back in the day of, *drools*, Seth from 'The O.C.' - dimpled, self-confessed comic book addict Seth, with his mop of dark curls, puppy-dog eyes and extensive use of sarcasm as wit, oh how I miss him. Where is he nowadays anyway, haven't heard a peep from him for centuries - answers on a postcard to the usual address folks. Might have to send out a search party for Mr Junior Cohen - we desperately need some sort of GPS tracking device to locate the missing cutie. Back to Emmett - Emmett is the kind of guy who knows how to treat a laydee, he appreciates her, and worships the ground she walks on. Not that I believe that the act of worshipping makes for a healthy relationship or anything. It sure is flattering though. A wonderful case of the age-old 'opposites attract' - all that I readily wolf down for I am truly a major sucker for romance.

• The delivery guy is sooooo Smith from 'Sex and the City'. Not really but he has a Smith aura about him. And I didn't even recognise beautician Paulette as Jill Halfpenny a.k.a. Phil from 'Eastenders' onscreen police chick ex-wife. Remember her? Vaguely eh?

Final note: the girl from 'Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps' ain't no Reese Witherspoon but does an impressive job, was a tad difficult to get her chavvy Janet character out of my mind's eye but she is very polished and natural here. Plus she has a hell of a lot of fun with her character - good on her I say. And Duncan from Blue is just hilarious, not intentionally, well, maybe a little bit but his American accent is just ludicrously caricature-like, very soap opera along the lines of 'Days of our Lives' and 'Sunset Beach'. Besides people, it is Duncan from Blue for God's sake. Have no idea how he transgressed from boyband to theatre but it's all very *hums 'The X-Files' theme tune*. Bless him. Oh and I'm not buying the whole attention-seeking bisexual 'confession' Dunc. Nice try though mate.

Chavtastic Janet

Sorority girl Elle

'Sex and the City 2'

Watched it last week and absolutely luh-ved it. There you go, said it, please don't stone me.

I must defend Carrie and the girls, like it's an unspoken responsibility, I feel a sense of loyalty towards them after being such an avid follower of their adventures on the small screen. Critics and mere mortals alike have been rather cruel and harsh in their reviews of the sequel - guys it doesn't claim to be a masterpiece, it's simply pure entertainment and that is exactly what it excels at so enough of the slating please. It is created specially for 'Sex and the City' fans so if you hated the television series then it's advisable you stay at home and stick to some lame-ass 'talent' show instead.

I actually preferred this one to its predecessor. Whereas the first one was more moving and emotional, had more of a plot, more of a storyline, this one was more lively and carefree. In all honesty not much happens but then that's what makes it so brilliant, it's like hanging out the enviable foursome again, nothing complicated or heavy, there are no forced or contrived storylines, this movie is all about fun and frolics in the beautiful Middle East. There is glamour, there is colour, there is luxury. And the outfits, oh the outfits, so utterly fabulous.















There are a few issues the movie touches briefly - the reality and monotony of marriage settles in for Carrie who becomes anxious about preserving the 'sparkle', Samantha is struggling with menopause whilst Charlotte is struggling with motherhood whereas Miranda has career dilemmas. And please don't believe the hype about Smith and Aidan, they only really feature for like two nano-seconds - sorry to disappoint you there and shatter any illusions!


Yes there are many gay and Muslim stereotypes but it's meant to be funny not offensive, I don't understand why everybody is being so uptight all of a sudden. Liza Minnelli's imitation of Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' was absolutely hilarious - I would go watch the film again alone for that reason!

Overall a lighthearted and enjoyable experience. And can people stop hating on Sarah Jessica Parker - okay so she's a tad veiny, and horsey, and yes maybe she's ageing, who cares, I still love her. Sarah Jessica Parker rocks!