Animal magic

I've had quite a bit of an animal fest recently, what with visits to both the London Zoo and the London Sealife Aquarium, which by the way is pretty much like a zoo for fishes.

Yes, I'm really a big kid at heart. I find there's something magical about zoos, it's like stepping into another world, it's not quite Narnia or Neverland or the Land of Oz but it's still pretty neat. Almost exotic. I don't care too much for zebras, giraffes, gorillas and the like, for me it's all about the cuties - penguins, koala bears, lemurs and squirrel monkeys. They are so adorable and fascinating to watch. And no, this doesn't make me a perpetrator of crimes against animals.

Many people believe zoos enforce animal cruelty. C'mon guys, it's no circus. Animals at zoos are not expected to perform, in fact for the most part they just lie around sleeping which does make me think that perhaps they are bored partly because they are enclosed. Or maybe it's just their lavish lifestyle that has accustomed them to this level of laziness. Yes, they are under the microscope so to speak, with curious eyes peering at them and chubby kiddie fingers trying to poke about at them but surely it's as entertaining for them as it is for us? We get to watch animals, they get to watch humans, it's a fair deal really. And just how different is their lifestyle from that of a celebrity who is constantly under the glare and scrutiny of a camera lens? In that retrospective, they are quite similar to these entertainers, but with significantly less of the entertaining and obviously minus the A-list lifestyle. Almost each day they get to be the centre of attention, which many of the egotistical and self-indulgent animals probably thrive on, it's rather like having their own television show. Next they will be dishing out autographs.

Fair enough, they deserve to be out in the wild because that's their natural habitat and all that malarkey but truthfully we all know that they are well fed and cared for at zoos. Spoilt one may even say. They are also protected here, not under threat from other animals who would normally target them outside the security of such a safety net. I know plenty that are firmly anti-zoo would suggest they place me in a cage and see how I feel, and to be honest go for it, I think I would ironically find it rather liberating. I could quite easily do away with my job. I would happily sit in an enclosure with my fellow like-minded creatures, it would be a playground of some sort, and I would be a three-year old again, scrambling around with the others in this mini adventure land, and hey, if you human folk are lucky, I might even flash you a smile.

Animals, in my opinion, have it real easy. Well, the ones in zoos anyway. Ultimately their daily activities quite literally are eating and sleeping. Where's the difficulty in that? Or cruelty for that matter? They are sheltered from the money-driven society we struggle within. For they say 'money is the root of all evil', their world is then the purest. It would be interesting, very Caveman-like, to live in a world where coins and notes did not exist or govern. A much more simple existence with no hint of materialism whatsoever.

I would willingly swap my life with, say, a penguin, a brand spanking new life where emotions are not heavily at play, love is meaningless, relationships are pants, how much heartbreak would you save yourself from? And no having to primp and prune yourself, endless hours in front of the mirror grooming your hair or camouflaging a pimple, no more 'fat days', how great would it be to live in a world where appearance did not matter at all, a world that wasn't so shallow and superficial? I know Mr Darwin believes we evolved from apes, unfortunately I really wish we hadn't evolved at all, I feel we have had nothing to gain from it but hardship and pain, 'ignorance is bliss' after all, and I would rather be that ignorant ape with his straighforward lifestyle, devoid of stress, anxiety and other headaches that plague the average human. It's not a competitve world that the ape belongs to, he can leisurely go about his business, there is no such thing as time because there is no such thing as money. It's like being an infant again, when we were free of these adult-related troubles, and each day consisted of eating, playing and sleeping. Oh to be an infant again. Better still, oh to be an ape again!

So basically what I am trying to say is that I have no sympathy for animals fortunate enough to have made zoos their home, I am quite envious of them actually so there. Those that cry cruelty have obviously not actually sat down and thoroughly thought about the entire situation, if they had, they would have reached the same conclusion I have - animals, those lucky sods. It is those that don't have the pleasure of such an accommodation that I truly feel sorry for, the ones who have to live by the 'survival of the fittest' rule, the ones who find themselves a victim in predator-prey relationships, the ones who have no idea whether they will get a meal tonight or will become a meal tonight.

And for those whom it may concern: I am a vegetarian. Just so you know.

Dream invasion

A post inspired by 'Inception', you know, the movie that has been making all the buzz recently, creating major ripples on all sides of the pond.

First and foremost, a quick word on the film. It is a Leonardo DiCaprio starrer, and that friends, is a huge selling point for me, it is enough to have me absolutely convinced from the word go. The guy has an incredible talent for sniffing out good projects, he has made wise career choices, I have yet to watch a Leonardo DiCaprio movie that borders on being atrocious or an utter bore. Okay, so I have been rather smart in avoiding duds like 'The Man in the Iron Mask' but fact remains that I have thoroughly enjoyed watching his flicks, and I have thoroughly enjoyed watching him. I rate him as an artist, he is a brilliant actor, and I know my humble opinion makes no difference whatsoever at all to the man himself but it is still very much a valid one. I am also, movie by movie, slowly finding myself strangely attracted to him. He used to be pretty in a really girlie way, now he's just pretty rough - he's slightly pudgy, his body is neither toned nor muscular but verging more towards flabby, and his straggly facial hair style is just plain revolting. It's fair to say age has caught up with our Leo - can I call him that, just Leo? Despite all this, I am beginning to find him real sexy, and it has me questioning my sanity. Physically he just doesn't do it for me. Like at all. I am not a huge fan of blond hair and blue eyes, I am all about dark features, especially a set of beautiful brown puppy-dog eyes. However there is just something about him, I find his talent immensely sexy but it's his silent, brooding demeanor, his mean and moody act that has got me hooked, I just want to uncover him, and I seriously didn't mean for that to come across as sexual. Yes, I know, enough already!

'Inception' does offer plenty proper eye-candy though - Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Tom Hardy. I remember seeing Gordon-Levitt quite recently in '500 Days of Summer' and I was like wow, he's grown up! 'Inception' just reiterates this for me. The guy is lush, a major cutie, and I hope this movie brings him the recognition he truly deserves - some even say that he steals the show here with his performance. I had a Gordon-Levitt appreciation day on Facebook the other day as I feel nobody cherishes him enough. I won't get into the particulars but I was just generally showing the guy a lot of love - interpret however you choose to. Anyway, back to the masterpiece, all I have to say is that Christopher Nolan took an idea and ran with it. Very far indeed. Yes, he overcomplicated it and created mass confusion but then I suppose that right there is a clever ploy - if he hadn't done so then there wouldn't have been so many questions and discussions, so many revisits to the cinema, and just generally so much hype. Seems like everybody has an opinion or theory on 'Inception' - mission accomplished Nolan, a big pat on the back for you sir. All I shall advise is that you watch it intensely focused, no allowing your mind to drift off and definitely no loo breaks, do so and you will be completely lost. The plot demands extreme concentration on your part. Even then you will walk out slightly baffled and quite eager to rush home in order to 'google' an analysis or explanation.

I love intelligent cinema - movies that are thought-provoking with their original, strong concept. And yes, I understand that they are fictional but the paranoid, over-analysing person within me ponders whether this is actually the case, or whether there is a huge conspiracy at play instead. And so 'Inception' has me wondering if there are indeed people out there trained to invade dreams. What a cool job that would be. Very MI5. Imagine having the ability to float into dreams and influence the victim's subconscious, that there is a superpower in itself, on the same realm as invisibility, shapeshifting and telepathy. Invading dreams, it's pretty much just technical, sophisticated witchcraft isn't it?

Can you fathom all that you could manipulate to your advantage - you can haunt the dreams of people you despise, you can stalk the dreams of the ones you fancy, you can brainwash the dreams of potential employers - the possibilities are endless. Dream hypnotism sounds like a life lottery to me.

A dream is like our very own mini motion picture where we are the leading actor, people who flit about our everyday lives become guest features, with daily events and thoughts forming the basis of the main plot. But what about those strangers that make an appearance from time to time? Do they really exist somewhere out there or have they just been concocted by our imagination? Or maybe they are a version of Dom Cobb and his team of experts who have secretly climbed into our subconscious? How much of a dream is really just the mind creating some form of entertainment? We have all woken from a vivid dream convinced that it had to be genuine and authentic, maybe the feelings that transpired had been too strong and honest to be dismissed as false but we never stop to think that perhaps it is a reality that has been carefully constructed. Okay, so it's rather far-fetched, and I must admit that there is probably no real reason to engineer such an elaborate hoax on the average being but what about individuals in positions of great power, you know, individuals who are ultimately capable of decisions that impact such a wide audience, can these decisions be controlled via a dream? The targets, one pressumes, would probably be dominant, prevailing figures in the world of politics and business. It's one way to beat your rival into submission. That or hire a hitman.

If you break down the idea of dream invasion you can come around to the understanding that perhaps it is not so absurd and way out there as you initially thought. A lot of people think it's a load of mumbo-jumbo but there are also many firm believers of therapies such as hypnosis, brain-wave, subliminal and transgression. Are these all not just a form of mind control? And what about white and dark arts? Spells, curses and voodoo dolls? Again, the mass population is probably skeptical yet there are those who truly believe. All, once more, just another method of mind control. So why is then dream invasion an idea so easily dismissed? Does it not border on the same principles? Sure, it wouldn't be as extravagant and extensive as that of Nolan's but I still choose to believe it exists out there in a more simplistic form.

And on that note, as I try to stifle yet another yawn, I'm off to hit the sack and indulge myself with a few visionary delights - goodnight folks, sweet dreams, sleep tight. And remember, "you musn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling".

Hair jewellery

Mission: to hunt the high street for pretty hair bling that will a) camouflage my hideous fringe and b) distract from the aforementioned.

Hair accessories at the minute seem to be all about bandos, bow alice bands and corsage type flower clips. Damn. I don't want decorative pieces to adorn my locks, I need purely practical ornaments that can help support my fringe through its challenging growing process.

Left: Triple wire pearl and crystal alice band - Monsoon Accessorize
So beautiful and delicate, bound to take the focus of the dodgy fringe. Slick fringey bits back, carefully place hair band on top and voilà - fringe? What fringe? Very princessy as well. I like.

Right: Triple crystal flower grips - Monsoon Accessorize
A more jazzier version of ordinary hair grips. Perfect for clasping shorter sections to the side.


Left: Crystal flower clip - Monsoon Accessorize
A simply splendid way to fasten annoying strands out of the way.

Below: Pearl and crystal flower hair clips - Claire's Accessories
Bear in mind that it's a shop designed especially for young girls so it is quite rare to find something that an adult woman can sport. Step away from the cheap and cheerful, and there are a few treasures to be discovered.




Below: Crystal hair grips - Claire's Accessories
Another fab find to garnish hair with.








Below: Black lace bando - Claire's Accessories
No, I haven't come over all 1920's flapper girl just yet, am going to improvise with this lace creation and utilise it as a headband to push the fringe back into obscurity.















Left: Ethnic bangle cluster - Next
It's for the wrist, not the hair, just in case you thought I would manage to somehow adapt it to my hair in some weirdly, unique fashion. People are more than welcome to step forward and demonstrate if they possess such an exceptional ability but I choose to accept bangles as they were primarily intended - it's not Vaseline you know! Anyway, I couldn't resist this exquisite mix, it's rather Bohemian and is certain to add an earthy, organic tone to any outfit.



Right: Scoop neck puffball dress - Krisp
I like the dress but I must admit that it's a tricky one to carry off. Pear shapes should probably steer well clear - a white and puffy bottom half is like garlic to a vampire for gals with well-endowed hips and a juicy butt. It, however, is probably ideal for athletic and straight, rectangular body types who seek to create curves. The puffball skirt is rather fussy, you do need to play with it quite a bit in order to settle it down in place but overall it's an individual take on the whole monochrome style. A sexy party dress with a Grecian feel that looks dazzling with silver accessories for an absolutely glitzy look.

And that pretty much sums up my non-event of a shopping trip. Dissapointing and then some. Why is it that you spot so many delicious items online but they fail to exist when you pop into the actual store? Are they just a manufacturing hoax? Hopefully my next shopping adventure will be wildly successful with many delectable gems detected and captured.