Lush Ush-er

When I heard last year that my darling Usher was heading over to this side of the pond in February 2011 I was ecsastic. Oh and by heading over here I mean not like for a holiday or anything, I'm talking about his OMG tour. I attached myself to a computer the minute tickets for his first London o2 Arena date went for sale on Ticketmaster, niftily and vey impatiently keying in my requirements, searching repeatedly for a pair of decent seats but to no avail. Within a matter of moments his date was sold out. Determined to nab Usher tickets, I figured I'd have to resort to another venue like Birmingham, Liverpool or Manchester, even Glasgow or Dublin if need be, so luckily for me he added another London date, for which I had to fight tooth and nail but I got in there - Thursday 3rd February - I'm there baby! Then he added another date. A more convenient one as it was meant to be in my week off. Arrrrgh! And no, that's not pirate talk. So there I was again on Ticketmaster, being nosy when they happened to add another date, right there and then, and unable to resist as better seats kept cropping up, I found myself with another set of tickets. It's okay though right, it's Usher, I could go twice. Except my week off was not that week like I had assumed, it was actually the following week. Arrrrgh! And then he added one final date, like in my real, actual week off. Arrrrgh! By this time I was majorly peeved off with the mighty Usher and his poxy method of adding dates.

So a little about my relationship with Usher before I launch straight into my experience of the concert itself. I'm not an Usher fan, not in the true sense of the word for I don't consider myself a fanatic, nope, not an Usher extremist or an Usher devotee, I simply appreciate the guy in a very mild-mannered form. And it's nothing to do with the fact that he's absolutely delicious and delectable, although that does help a fair bit. He's somebody who musically you can completely bank on, ever since like day one. Fair enough there are plenty whom will beg to differ on this opinion of mine but to me it doesn't get any safer than Usher, I am guaranteed to like anything he does, musically that is, not on the loo or anything. Sure he's a bit of a hoe but dude has an amazing voice, is an amazing dancer, has an amazing sense of style, an amazing body... see a pattern emerging? Yeah I can pretty much go on for a while. Okay, so maybe I am a bit of a fan after all. It's that smile that gets me the most though, them dimples, ah man, they're killing me. You see, I'm quite the sucker for dimples. On a man that is. Dimples on a man are cute and sexy all at the same time. Dimples on a man make me come over all weak. Dimples on a man truly make me melt. Dimples on a man are my kryptonite. I swear, they will be the death of me. Anyway so enough Usher gushing, let's get on with his performance. On stage you filthy folk, not between the sheets.

Usher Round One
Date: Thursday 3rd February 2011
Location: o2 Arena, North Greenwich
Seating: Level One - Block 110, Row X

Got off to a bad start after a Jubilee tube fiasco, something about some selfish passenger deciding to fall ill, resulting in services being suspended exactly where we were heading. I figured it was just somebody who couldn't get hold of Usher tickets and felt 'well if I can't go then neither can anybody else'. Fair enough. To be honest, I'd be exactly the same. We joined forces with some random girls who convinced us to catch a cab with them down to the venue, and then there was some random middle-aged bloke who was practically forcing his spare block A, right-at-the-front ticket on us. Didn't quite have him down as an Usher fan but hey, let's not make presumptions or discriminate, besides there's plenty of Usher to go around. Quite literally.

By the time we finally made it to The o2 I was gagging for a drink, the strong kind. Unfortunately time did not allow us the luxury to hit The Blueroom Bar like we has originally intended to. Damn you, you ill passenger on the tube. I had to make do with drinks from inside the arena which were naturally extortionate but I knew this from the previous times I had been here before anyway, so nothing of a truly shocking nature really. Tinchy Stryder was the support act which I was surprised by, was expecting somebody more important. Sorry Tinchy but it's Usher, he should have a grand opening act. I know this is very unpatriotic of me but I'm not very enthusiatic about British acts, they are not quite as polished as their American counterparts. Tinchy however was alright you know, and I should really be grateful that it wasn't somebody like N'Dubz whom I hate with a passion. And hate is definitely not a strong word in this instance. Oh and Dappy, am not scared of you, what you going to do, verbally abuse and threaten me down the phone?! Anyway, Tinchy was very prompt, he came on exactly at eight like scheduled and did his allocated twenty minutes, can't fault the boy on his punctuality. Same thing cannot be said for the main man himself though. I suppose he was trying to be fashionably late or something - do people still even do that, haven't they outgrown it already? Bit try-hard really. Not saying that I'm always on time, I'm always late actually but not fashionably, more tragically.

So Usher was just slightly taking the piss, I was pretty bored at this stage and almost ready to personally drag him out from his dressing room. The crowd at this point were entertaining themselves with The Mexican Wave, followed by collectively chanting 'Usher' in a bid to make him appear. I was secretly hoping they would start booing so that he would emerge in order to save his reputation. When he finally arrived the audience went wild, and I just breathed a sigh of relief. Usher's talent could not be faulted - his vocals and moves were on top form which was a pretty 'in your face' to everybody who slagged off his 'X-Factor' performance. There was a lot of stripping too which was more than a-okay for me. In fact I spent the entire concert screaming 'take it off, take it off'. And my, what a body he has. I did feel fairly sorry for the blokes in the audience who probably felt a tad uncomfortable and inadequate with all the disrobing but jeez, get over it fellas.

Usher paid a miniscule tribute to Michael. Jackson that is, not Bolton or Bublé because that would have been strange. These glittery shoes appeared on a conveyor belt and there was a cheesy "do I have your permission to fill these shoes?" moment at which point the music of 'Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough' began and Usher, clad in a very 'Thriller' type red and black leather jacket, displayed some fancy footwork, including the legendary moonwalk. The entire scene was just a taster, a tease even, and left me rather disappointed - I wanted more, more dancing, singing as well please but I suppose his acknowledgement to the King of Pop who was meant to have entertained at The o2 with his 'This Is It' was better than nothing at all. There was also the traditional 'pull a fan on stage' manoeuvre, he ran indecisively back and forth for so long that I was like pick somebody already. Eventually he settled on someone who suspiciously looked very much like one of his dancer chicks. She definitely had been planted in the audience because she was too groomed and in shape to be a regular member of the crowd, and to add to that she was far too confident and all freaky-like when doing her thing to 'Trading Places' - she was grinding all over on top of him with ease, cowgirl style, am thinking any ordinary girl would have been too embarrassed, this looked like it had been rehearsed. Oh and her pants kept falling down for a bit of builder's bum syndrome, which is exactly why I'm not a fan of low-rise bottoms. And I swear when they were done and the next track came on, she was there, on stage, dancing in the background. Not fooled Usher, not fooled.

The guy has a lot of material, and he provided a wide range of it, from old classics to recent hits. Now I'm more into his earlier music, I'm talking 'My Way' and '8701' so I was chuffed when he greeted us with songs from these albums. Although am not sure many younger people around me recognised these very well because they looked somewhat confused and failed to sing along. Something was missing from the concert, I couldn't pinpoint it but maybe it was the atmosphere, I had been to Ne-Yo at Wembley Arena the previous year, and Chris Brown at The o2 the year before that, and the atmosphere had been absolutely electric then. Not saying the crowd were bemused and inattentive but I did seem to be surrounded by a few people who were quite unimpressed - there were a lot of girls who had dragged their boyfriends to the concert despite their protests I expect. I had such a couple sitting right next to me, the girl was enthusiastic and just generally over the moon to be there, she kept tugging at her boyfriend who remained glued to his seat for the most part with a pained expression on his face, he so wanted to be watching the footie at his local pub. Then there was a mixed group of youngsters in front of me, and halfway through one lad whipped out his mobile and proceeded on occupying himself with games on it. That's right, he was playing games on his phone at an Usher concert! How ungrateful! Incidents like that served to dampen my evening because they derailed the atmosphere slightly.

Also, and I really don't want to be negative about Usher but the guy seemed a little bored. I imagine he has done all this several times over during his entertaining life, and that there isn't much scope or diversity involved now but he did look like he was just going through the motions, very much like you would with your job if you hated it, quietly wishing for the working day to be over so you could go home. There was a distinct lack of passion, that specific interaction with the crowd, I don't know, I could be wrong but it was all too rehearsed that it left no room for his personality to shine through. He did manage to come alive, along with every single damn person in the audience (including bloke longing for a pint at the pub), on the finalé number - 'Oh My Gosh' - possibly because he knew he was literally seconds away from the end. Ah Usher, I do apologise if I'm too critical - hey, still, at least you looked good baby.

Usher Round Two
Date: Friday 18th February 2011
Location: o2 Arena, North Greenwich
Seating: Floor - Block B3, Row B

Missed half of Tinchy's set - awwww, what a shame. Don't know why I say that because ickle Tinchy is really not that bad. Bless him. I was half-expecting The Biebster to put in an appearance, what with him being in Town to promote his new flick - yes, the kid now has his own movie, documenting his rise to fame. For the record, there was no sign of him at all. I was thoroughly disappointed. Still, I was in the mood to party due to the copious amount of cocktails I had downed in preparation for Usher. He was late again but the crowd did not seem to mind so much this time around, maybe because it was Friday and many people did not have work the next day. Too bad for the ones who did - oh well.

This is the first time I've had floor seating for any event. The atmosphere here was dynamic, people were real hyper and determined to have a blast, which is not something I could say for some of the ones I spied along the edges. This dude in front of me was very merry if you know what I mean, he kept grabbing strangers, urging them to dance. So floor versus level one, what's the deal? Honestly, I would stick with level one. Floor seating is pretty cramped, the seats are temporary and therefore not as comfortable, not that you are spending much of the evening sitting down but no drink holders folks. Level one seating has drink holders which may seem like such a small amenity but really makes a huge difference guys. Also, with everybody standing up it can be difficult to see all the events unfolding on stage, especially for somebody of a short stature like myself - my vision kept being obstructed by various bopping heads. Level one is graduated so there is no such issue there. It's all about the viewpoint though, floor seating is directly central and so ideal whereas level one is more one-sided. There are pros and cons with both really. You decide.

Usher's routine was pretty much the same really, no variation from what I could recall. His 'pull a fan on stage' routine seemed more genuine on this particular occasion. The girl he selected came across as fazed, unlike the previous one who had been all casual and laid-back. There were no sexy moves from this one, at one point she was even blushing but for the most part she was beaming from side to side, you couldn't wipe that smile off her face. Lucky bitch!

It's rather odd but I preferred round two to round one. Even though I'd already seen the entire thing before, and not so long ago, it was more enjoyable the second time. I don't know whether it was down to the alcohol content rushing through me or the dynamic mood ringing through my section, whatever it was, it was good stuff. Fo' shizzle.