Embrace the razor

Beards. I don't quite understand the theory behind them. Now stubble on a man is rather sexy but beards just appear to serve no purpose whatsoever. They should have become extinct after the invention of razors. I don't know, maybe they are like a rug for the face. Do they classify as an accessory?? Is a beard to a man like a bag to our arm or a belt to our waist? Either way, facial furniture is quite frankly ewww.

I don't mean to patronise the bearded population in such a manner - I can almost imagine the beard society gathering on my doorstep with placards screaming 'rot in hell', burning effigies of me whilst angrily voicing the sheer discrimination, injustice and humiliation they have had to endure. Hang on fellas of the bearded variety, it's really not a personal attack, it is more curiosity on my part. Somebody sporting a beard needs to come forth and clarify matters, you know, explain the 'argument for' facial fluff. C'mon bearded dudes, please don't be shy, represent your fellow species.

Also furry-faced mammals, do you shampoo and condition it? Blow-dry or straighten it? Dye it, bead it, plait it, run a little hair gloss through it for a healthy shine? I just want to know the extent of grooming that takes place in order to maintain all that facial hair. Or do you just let it grow unkempt and unruly, free and out of control with a life of its own? Does it then become a whole entity of itself? Does it have a name? All very sincere questions of an inquisitive nature I assure you. Oh and do you play with it in a similiar manner to how I play with my hair, twirling it around my finger? And does this mean you are flirting with me?

A final note: beards, not that great to the human touch either. Not that I have ever touched one or anything. Just an assumption. And yes they say you should never assume and all that blah, blah, blah crap but it's perfectly justified and excused in the realm of all things beard-like.


Far left: Brad not at all razor-shy.
To its right: Brad avec what can only be described as straggly bits of unsightly
growth around the mouth and on the chin area.

To embrace the razor or not, you decide!