And although I am fairly grown up now, maybe not in stature but most definitely in age, I still maintain that I wish to be a fairy, mermaid or princess, even though I know it's highly unlikely, in fact quite literally impossible, and all in all rather fantastical really. Unless of course I start to look towards Disney theme parks as potential employers.
Oh to be a
mischievous, diminutive, winged creature, dancing through woodland skies, generously sprinkling glitter-like fairy dust, shrewdly defeating fiery dragons. Now that's an adventure that the regular nine-to-five doesn't offer. Or a mysterious, dainty, fish-tailed nymph, wading through pacific seas, endlessly teasing all fellow marine life, enchanting sailors with her seductive feminine wiles. Or a soft-spoken, dainty, regal lady, gazing longingly out of her window, singing soothingly to feathered beings, patiently waiting to be rescued by her knight in shining armour. Those are roles and responsibilities that I can fathom, job descriptions that suit me to a tee. Well, bar the swimming and singing that is. I could just about swim like a length about seventeen years ago but I very much doubt I can any longer. As for singing, let's just say I ain't no Mariah. Oh and how do mermaids manage to frolic in water for hours on end yet their hair stays immaculate and amazingly dry? Have always wondered.
Besides establishing that a drowning mermaid would altogether make for a very crap mermaid, I am trying to jump ship, get out before the boat sinks and what not, I apologise for the heavy 'at sea' theme, it was not purposely intended, entirely accidental I swear - what I mean to say is that my current occupational abode is in a bit of a financial pickle and so the future there is looking very bleak, and although I am not on their official hitlist, perhaps it is time to look for greener pastures. You know, you'd think that the person accountable for all the financial decisions would be given their marching orders because they have absolutely, totally and completely fucked up, excuse my language. But nope, it's the little people that shall suffer as a result.
And really, right now, right this very minute, I should be updating my CV instead of my online diary, except I have ransacked my whole, entire bedroom and just can't seem to find even half a copy of my old CV, and starting from scratch seems like such a damn chore at the moment. Which leads me question: what do I even want to do? I have never been highly ambitious or motivated, I have never had a career, just jobs, and so two years away from the big three-zero I seem to be in some sort of career-less crisis. Whereas everybody else around my age seems to be professionally settled and steadily climbing up the career ladder, I haven't even had a mere sniff or taste of it, and here I am, still little girl lost.
The whole recruitment process itself is so tough these days. There's the first interview, and the second, and the third, and let's not forget the dreaded panel interview with a whole bunch of intense, scary looking ogres in power suits, all those eyes glued to you, scrutinising your every movement, trying to ambush you into a pile of withering mess. I am not a natural entertainer, do not revel at centre-stage, am not a quick thinker, most certainly do not have the gift of the gab, so interviews are naturally my worst nightmare, along with my straightener breathing its last breath, and heavy rain on a day I am not armed with an umbrella. Interviews destroy any ounce of confidence I possess, confidence which I had very little of to start with. I become a stuttering and mumbling disaster, my heart pounding hard, my voice all high-pitched and squeaky. Boy I hate interviews. And oh, those questions - what can you bring, what are your strengths, why should we hire you, why do you want this job???? How about because I need the money so that I can buy myself pretty things? I am extremely modest and find it really difficult to recommend or sell myself - I am not a product dammit! Besides what can I really say that hasn't been said before? Surely the interviewers must get tired of hearing the same bullshite over and over again? Sometimes I think that I should take a gamble, be a little different, throw in a bit of humour, show some personality but I don't want to risk looking like a right twat. Also, with the current dire economical situation, and jobs being so few and far between, there are like gadzillions of people vying for the same positions, gazdillions of people who are much more qualified and experienced for the role than little ol' me. I just don't stand a chance, might as well spare myself the humiliation and torture. Such defeating talk, I know.
Am thinking it's probably a little late to go into the 'Big Brother' house. I could always become a WAG, just need to hang out at some popular celebrity haunt like Chinawhite and throw some sexy shapes on the dancefloor. Failing that, there's always exotic dancing, I hear it pays well.
And hey
, look what I found:
http://www.weekiwachee.com/
- only in the States eh, only in the States could you actually work as a mermaid - good stuff!
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