Beauty splurges this month

The following reviews are mega basic and brief because a) I have somewhat of a social life, b) I couldn't care less about ingredients, and because c) I don't get bloody paid for it so hush yourself you demanding, whining, nitpickers. Oh and these products were acquired over the last few months not just one solitary October, I'm not Vicki Beckham you know, my allowance doesn't stretch that far per month.

Clinique Dewy Smooth Anti-ageing Makeup - Those that suffer from dry skin will kindly agree that searching for the ideal foundation is rather like searching for the holy grail. Most foundations tend to dry the skin further, resulting in much flakiness, patchiness and that oh so attractive leathery skin. This, however, is a bottled miracle - it hydrates and plumps my skin from the moment I apply it to moment I wipe it off. Expect great coverage and healthy, glowing skin. And the 'anti-ageing' bit is not a marketing scheme folks, skin does actually look considerably younger. The result is a fresh-faced, porcelain look. What's not to love eh?

Mac Face and Body Foundation - Far to weak to parade around as a foundation for the face - the consistency is not quite right, it's far too runny and does not blend well but weave in some body moisturiser and it makes for a lovely tinted moisturiser to slap on your legs, you know, to give them renewed life and such.

L'Oreal Voluminous 4x Mascara - A hasty purchase but wow, what a find, I believe it must have been fate, it had to have been fate. So there I was, all mascara-less, Boots online were all out of stock on my ass about my favourite mascara, and I accidentally bought the waterproof version of it in store (and we all know waterproof is not good, maybe if you swim a lot then it's possibly okay but other than that it is the opposite of all things good), so I plastered on the only option I had - the poxy waterproof mascara, with no idea on how to remove it without pulling my eyelashes out of their socket - and bopped along to Superdrug, hoping that they would have the regular version of my favourite mascara but alas, no such luck. So there I was in a state of panic that perhaps, just perhaps, they had phased out my favourite mascara - the fiends! But more panic in that I had a date the day after the next, and it was necessary that a replacement was discovered so that flirting successfully with my eyes all evening long was possible. And almost like the Wise Men following a star, I was led to this lengthening and volumising marvel. It does exactly what it claims, quadruples your lashes for the sexiest, most glamorous flutter.

MeMeMe Lash Attack Mascara - The backup hasty purchase should the above have failed. There seemed to be a huge hoopla about this brand in Superdrug at the time, and the tacky packaging screamed cheap yet at the same time I guiltily found it rather funky. The mascara itself is pants, just complete pants. Do not believe a word it says about being all 'extreme lengthening' and all that, damn lies I tell you, in fact this mascara is so below average that I am ashamed to admit that I purchased, even more ashamed to have reviewed it - it is not worthy of a review, but if this review were to stop a single person, just one small person (like a troll or a midget), from purchasing this pants product then it would not have been in vain. I am doing it for the greater good.

Revlon Fabulash Mascara - My secret to magnificent lashes. Many are undecided on this product, with reviews ranging from it being relatively so-so to being absolutely amazing. I agree with the latter school of thought. It produces silky, clump-free lashes that are luxuriously long and thick - can't really ask for more than that, unless of course you want it to do the housework for you, which it won't by the way because it's only a mascara dammit.

No 7 Stay Perfect Eyeshadow in Midnight Blue - My main gripe with most eyeshadow is that it just doesn't stay put and creases. This one does, stay put I mean, not crease. The powder is quite rich in texture, and glides on easily and evenly - no eyeshadow-related mishaps here people. And it lasts forever! Okay, maybe not forever but until I wipe it off anyway which is pretty good going. It means that it is still firmly in place after a night's heavy partying, you know, around three-ish when it's not quite night and it's not quite day, and your hair now smells of cigarette smoke, and has transformed from sleek to gritty, your make-up is in a dishevelled state, and your clothes are all crumpled with an unknown blotch fighting its way to the spotlight, well, despite all this at least your eyeshadow will still remain immaculate. Also, a note on the colour - the most sultry shade like, ever. It's an indigo-navy hue with a somewhat metallic shimmer, pile it on generously, and you can achieve dark and intensely smokey eyes.

Rimmel Glam'Eyes Professional Liquid Liner - I have tried many eyeliners but either they are too dry and hence the crackle effect, or the brush is too fine or too thick which inevitably makes application tricky and an outright pain. This liquid eyeliner does a great job, the brush is perfectly balanced in size to create chic eyes, and the liquid is concentrated enough to produce a deep yet sharp outline.

Rimmel Professional Eyebrow Pencil - Just your regular eyebrow pencil really, there is nothing much to rave about here guys. It has a soft finish which although is great for filling in empty eyebrow spaces, is not so great for defining the ends of the eyebrow. It seems Rimmel have altered the formula of this pencil slightly, it used to be firmer and definitive in application whereas now it is far more delicate. Also, not sure if it's just because my pencil sharperner is quite frankly rubbish but this eyebrow pencil is a royal pain to sharpen - the lead just keeps breaking off and before you know it the pencil has almost disappeared. Not good Rimmel, not good.

Rimmel Lasting Finish Lipstick in Pink Blush - My standard lippy. It must have moisturising properties because my lips stay rather hydrated and soft. The creamy texture offers a glossy and smooth coating, and I am the first to admit that the product is definitely not massively long lasting as it suggests but reapplication is not beneath me so I really don't mind at all. The intensity of the shade actually depends entirely on the colour you select. Pink Blush is meant to be quite sheer and subtle so is not deeply pigmented - it allows the focal point to be smouldering eyes. If I fancy a sexy pout instead, I opt for Retro which is a very trendy red-orange shade, both vivid and dramatic.

Rimmel 5 in 1 Nail Treat - I tend to steer clear of colour on my nails, not only is it very high maintenance in the sense that you need to preserve it by being on complete standby for any chipping, you also must keep adapting it to accommodate your attire - far too much hassle methinks. I prefer a clear, glossy polish as it's neutral and also more classy. Rimmel's Nail Rescue is my usual choice, it's actually a nail repair treatment for weak nails like mine, serving to strengthen them in just two weeks, yet at the same time it's very clear polish-like. Perfect really. Except I couldn't find it online or in store and had to settle for this imitation. It promises to do pretty much the same thing except in addition it also claims to be a base coat and top coat - quite a multitasker I say. I can't comment on its base and top coat abilities as I don't wear nail varnish on my fingernails but it does ensure shiny nails, and it also seems to have accelerated nail growth, however they don't quite look or feel any stronger yet.

Thursday Plantation Tea Tree Blemish Gel - Sort of like a superhero for the skin that fights evil baddie spots and such. This invisible gel (invisible - very superhero-like eh - nice) is totally uh-may-zing! It reduces redness and pimple size which means they don't look all angry and menacing. I love it so much that, spots or no spots, I slather it all over my face morning and night in a very ritualistic manner (fear not, there's no tribal dance and war paint involved), I feel like my skin will erupt in spots if I don't, kind of like how some people think their family may die if they don't turn the light switch on and off ten times before exiting the house.

Garnier UltraLift Anti-wrinkle Day Cream and Night Cream - Smells absolutely gorgeous, which I know is irrelevant but still. I used this moisturiser combination in my late teens and early twenties but was lured to other products and so ditched it in favour of them, having returned to it again I can say that I am in no rush to leave this time round. The rich, creamy recipe nourishes my dry skin as well as establishing a great base for foundation. My skin looks healthier and brighter, not to mention soft, smooth and supple. Huge thumbs up from me.

Garnier handrepair Hand Cream - Sinks into the skin very readily and easily, there is no greasiness or smothered feeling here. Hands immediately appear tighter on application.

Good Things Five Minute Facial Face Mask - Being an absolute sucker for new, tempting products on the market, I spotted a somewhat shrine to the Good Things brand in my local Boots, and just had to indulge myself despite the fact that I had never even heard of the damn range. There's some great, big fuss about these products being created using superfruit extracts, and we all know fruit is mega healthy so this can't really be a bad thing, and so therefore must be an, erm... good thing - wonder if it counts towards my five-a-day? For those who wish to know, this selection has been constructed by some beauty writer named Alice Hart-Davis (rings no bells whatsoever) who has used her 'expertise in the beauty industry' (so informs the back of the tube) to compose this stuff, this means absolutely zilch to me because as far as I am concerned writing about something does not immediately make you qualified enough to manufacture that something. This clay mask is lovely though, and it smells divine. I love clay masks because they have this instant purifying feeling about them, this one is softer than most and feels like a total lavish treat - amazing boost for your skin before a night out.

Good Things Stay Clear Purifying Cleanser - Ah, that traditional exquisite Good Things smell is the first thing to hit your senses. This cleanser is fairly efficient at its job -it makes skin feel fresher and more refined - however there is nothing on offer here that would possibly make it remarkable. Just my humble opinion, that's all, let's not shoot the messenger eh.

Good Things Stop that Spot! Clearing Gel - Besides the scrumptious scent there is not much I would recommend here - I prefer to select something with tea tree oil when it comes to spots because the results are generally far better.

Boots Tea Tree + Witch Hazel Foaming Face Wash - It's like medicine for the skin - must be the tea tree eh. Skin feels taunt yet clean. And it's very gentle.

Boots Tea Tree + Witch Hazel Exfoliating Face Scrub - Exfoliation is like my favourite type of cleaning - it by far beats scrubbing loos. This one is fairly average really, not great, not awful, just average. It does what it is intended to - it exfoliates dammit! If you don't fancy any more from it then fab, if so then look elsewhere.

Boots Tea Tree + Witch Hazel Spot Wand - Hmmm, hmmm indeed. It's double-sided in that there is one side dedicated for day use, and the other for night. In my opinion neither work wonders. Aside from smelling like tea tree, and so giving the impression that it should do its thing, it has nothing else to offer, it's a bit of a tea tree scam really.

Carmex Classic Moisturising Lip Balm - Definitely remains a classic lip companion for moi. My lips tend to dislike flavoured lip balms so I have to avoid the cherry version and stick to the original. Some lip balms are further drying but this one soothes and conditions troubled, chapped lips, keeping them totally crack-free and replenished.

Clairol Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Moisture & Shine Shampoo and Conditioner - Here I refer to the separate products, not the 2-in-1 version - I may be busy but I shall always have enough time to shampoo and condition my hair independently, and I suggest you do the same. My hair is pretty dry thanks to extensive use of the best invention ever, that's a straightener folks, not a microwave, although a microwave does come pretty close. Leaves locks extremely silky and smooth, and is great nutrition for damaged hair, plus the coconut smell is oh so lovely.

Sanctuary Spa Escape Gift Set - Consists of five products - body wash, body scrub, body butter, hand cream and salt scrub. I was purchasing pressies for a friend's birthday and took advantage of the three-for-two offer in Boots, it meant I could treat myself to this little package. I do like Sanctuary products, they have this lavish and extravagant feel about them, and my body always feels valued after usage. I am not going to review them individually but as a whole they have the trademark Sanctuary smell, and the trademark Sanctuary pampering quality. Good stuff.

Dolce and Gabbana The One eau de parfum - A birthday gift a few years ago and has quickly become a signature date scent ever since. Men just seem to adore this perfume. It's sweet and feminine in a womanly way, very seductive, and not afraid to linger around for a while. Simply addictive. Plus I receive many compliments when I float around in it, oh and many queries too.


Lancôme Hypnôse eau de parfum - Hypnotising is the word that springs to mind. I was introduced to this by an ex buying it as a mother's day gift - best thing to come out of that relationship really! I remember catching a sniff of it and being so mesmorised that I just had to have it. It really is that special - alluring and enchanting, if Angelina Jolie were a fragrance this would be it.

Jean Paul Gaultier Madame eau de toilette - Another former birthday present which I had to replace. It's fun, fresh and fruity, very summery yet sweet but not in a sickly way. Truly heavenly.

Hugo Boss Orange eau de toilette - It's of the Madame variety (see directly above!) - I discovered it via a sample through the post and felt drawn to it instantly.

Paco Rabanne Ultraviolet eau de parfum - An ex used to wear this fragrance, the male version of course, and I thought it was stunning, so much so that I bought it for the dude I dated after - naughty? Maybe. I figured purchasing the female counterpart wouldn't be such a gamble seeing as I already had a positive verdict towards it. It's a more subtle variant of the male scent - sensual and light, quite powdery, not strong or distinctive enough for the evening but rather gentle for daytime wear. And the bottle is just so funky!

Tommy Hilfiger True Star eau de parfum - I figured this would be a safe purchase seeing as Mrs Jay-Z (that's Beyoncé by the way people) is fronting the perfume. It's quite disappointing really, the scent is very crisp and fresh but nothing new or extraordinary - what I would expect from Calvin Klein to be honest. Goes to show that celebs will attach their name to anything for a bit of cash really. If you desire something quite sporty then this is ideal but you can probably find similar smelling items at your local market for under a fiver.