Heavy Reading

Okay, that's enough now, please try to contain your sniggering, I know it's impossible to believe that I would read anything besides Daily Mail online and Heat Magazine but I am actually capable of prolonged text, even though it may initially seem like too huge a commitment for me.

It took an Amazon
recommendation to spark the initial interest in me, fuelled and spurred further by the 'customers who bought this item also bought...', days later I sat there with my three hard-hitting purchases, all non-fiction accounts of Pakistani Mulim women who have suffered from verbal, mental and physical abuse at the hands of their own family, horrifying narratives of assault, rape and forced marriages, all in the warped justification of punishment and honour. These memoirs all share similar settings - parents who have immigrated to England from some remote Pakistani village, who shun and abhor Western culture, refusing to integrate, instead implementing their strict views, ethics and code of conduct into their offspring via fear so that they will not 'shame' or 'dishonour' them.

What really awakens and angers the feminist in me are the double standards and hypocrisy at play here, there being one set of restrictive rules for the female and another set of loose ones for the male. The women in each case have been treated merely as subservient slaves, their sole purpose as a child to serve their family, that is to complete all household chores extensively until they reach what is thought to be a marriageable age, which shockingly ranges from thirteen to sixteen. This is when they are shipped off to their ancestral country under the false pretense of a holiday, and then forced to marry a complete stranger who is usually much older in age and shares identical misogynistic traits, viewing the alliance as a means through which to gain entry into this country. It is astounding that such deception is executed by their own flesh and blood - by parents, or rather monsters, who instead of nurturing and protecting their child are instead the primary ones inflicting all this horrendous pain and suffering - beating them into submission and thrusting them into a paedophilic marriage - such parental figures, such love, such compassion, such humanity.

These young girls are expected to lead a 'modest' lifestyle in traditional attire with Western influences condemned and regarded as sinful. Showing flesh is a heinous crime. Interacting with the opposite sex is forbidden. Such acts are thought to bring disgrace upon the family. Any disobedience is met with brutal violence. The men, or boys, meanwhile are free to come and go as they please, there are no confinements in place for them as they are considered superior to the female, almost worshipped even. These girls have no rights, no freedom, no voice. Life is a mere routine of school, and homely duties as well as being on call to regular family demands, with the former probably being their only escape from the daily grind of drudgery and torture. Yet even here they are social misfits due to the cultural restrictions they suffer. It's rich that their parents have travelled to Western lands in order to take advantage of the opportunities on offer, however at the same time are quick to reject and prohibit their culture, there is no sense of 'when in Rome, do as the Romans do', there is no adaptation, just narrow-mindedness and hostility.

Religion becomes a quick answer or reason for everything when in reality it is rather culture than religion to blame here. It is their culture that enforces such constraints, religion instead becomes an easy scapegoat. For example, the Islamic text actually observes that both men and women should dress in a conservative and demure fashion, so why then are only women expected to cover their hair and hide behind veils? Why are these conditions not in place for men too? Not that there is in fact any mention of having to adorn headscarves, veils or full body robes to begin with. Much of this it seems has been interpreted and enforced by society, and this happens to be the case in all these three memoirs - the holy scriptures become misconstrued and manipulated to suit their oppressive and abusive purpose.

These real-life stories are difficult to stomach at times, with strong depictions of violence and sexual acts but nevertheless make for a gripping and enthralling read, and luckily all conclude with a much deserved happy ending. You cannot help but applaud their courage and bravery, their decision to finally admit that enough is enough, to take the first step of liberation despite all the consequences this would inevitably incur. Unfortunately this is not always the case, many girls who find themselves trapped in these dire situations are unable to escape, and even if they do manage to somehow flee they are hunted down and become victims of honour crimes - their punishment for what is considered defiance, this defiance which is thought to have humiliated and degraded their respective families, culture and society.

As well as being a sign of hope for girls destined similar fates to what these authors have endured, I feel these biographies are adequate research for Social Services and Child Protection who are generally not equipped at dealing with such an alien culture. For instance, if the child eventually plucks up the courage to confide in somebody, that somebody should definitely not assume that talking to the family will prove to be sufficient and beneficial - unfortunately there is no bargaining with people who are so deeply ingrained and brainwashed by their beliefs, and such actions will no doubt further endanger the child in question, not only will they be 'punished' for speaking out but any forced marriage proceedings will be accelerated, it being common that the child just simply disappears. This is your study material you Social Services types, take it and absorb it.

Reading material:

'The Imam's Daughter' - Hannah Shah
'Disgraced' - Saira Ahmed
'Belonging' - Sameem Ali