Russell Peters - I went to see him a couple of weeks ago at the O2 Arena - and it has made me think that I am so totally in the wrong profession. For those who are unaware, Russell Peters is a Canadian stand-up comedian whose material generally pokes fun at different races and cultures. I have seen him many a time on dvd before but this was the first time I saw him live, in fact it was most probably the first time I had seen any sort of comedy show live, not that I hate comedy or anything, it actually forms the majority of my television viewing, well it's a tie between comedy tv shows and reality telly if I am being completely honest, but I have dabbled slightly with stand-up before, not personally silly but as part of an audience at some random comedy pub type place in Piccadilly Circus. It was small and cramped, not at all ideal for a claustrophobic like myself. And this dude, the comedian type, was like a dog without a leash, completely lashing out at various spectators whilst I sat there in the second row, in an unmissable Latin-style red dress, trying to shrink myself, all frozen from the fear that movement may well draw attention to my shy and nervous self. It conclusively took me back to being picked on in them horrid high school maths lessons - maths was never one of my stronger subjects folks. Sorry but I am not the kind of person who can be witty on demand, maybe because I have never been much of a punctual person, witticisms always tend to arrive half an hour later than the occassion. Needless to say I only lasted roughly ten painful minutes, that's like eight minutes since I decided to quit the whole torture session, that's like eight minutes it took to muster up the courage to stand up and walk out, that's like eight minutes too long.Anyway, so Russell didn't seem quite as daunting because the venue itself is ma-hu-sive, not a chance of being picked on which suited me just fine. And although he was off-the-wall funny (sorry, I know the term 'funny' in conjunction with a comedian is probably quite insulting but my thesaurus is collecting dust at the moment and I don't really want to disturb it), am not really sure whether he was worth the fifty quid ticket for an hour and half show, especially when I have previously paid slightly less to see Chris Brown and Ne-Yo perform (not together guys but they should so do that, they would be raking in the cash) both of whom are far more celebrity and have far more of the entertainment factor, especially when most of his jokes although clever are at the same time fairly predictable, especially when I could have just waited a few weeks and then YouTubed him up!
So there's Chris Brown and Ne-Yo, not together, separately, dancing their little socks off and singing their little hearts out in order to make a living whilst Mr Russell Peters casually saunters on stage, throws about a few recycled jokes and hops off laughing all way to the bank. That's pretty good going for an hour and half's work. And let's not forget that they both had pretty decent opening acts too, ickle Cwissy Brown even had then girlfriend Rihanna make a special appearance (this was about a month before he used her for a human punchbag), who the hell did Russell have? Some dude I have never heard of, I can't even remember his name, don't think I ever even registered his name. Not at all saying that he wasn't funny, yep, it's that word again but c'mon, he weren't no Rihanna.
And to be honest, as much as I like Russell, not love for I don't want Mrs Peters hot on my trail, I have lost a little respect for him. It seemed like he had staged people in the audience that he had a specific repartee in mind for, I refuse to believe that he improvised on the spot, they were most definitely planted as part of his sinister game plan (okay, so he's only trying to make a quick buck not take over the world but still), there is no way he could respond with such clever comments and at such pace, and if he actually did then I do apologise, hats off to him indeed if I actually wore one, that's a hypothetical hats off to him I guess.
I am by no means trying to knock the guy, he is making cheddar the best way he can, that's money not cheese you urban challenged people. However, comedians as entertainers quite frankly have it easy, no gruelling dance routines, no vocal training, no mad gym sessions, you are actually even expected to look fat, it's the norm, sorry, I meant to say overweight/out of shape/chunky/larger than life - you pick whatever takes your fancy. See, if I were a comedian 'fat' would be funny, not politically incorrect. All I am saying is that once I get over my medical condition best known as stage-fright, Russell best watch his back, I got my eye on his job! All it involves is taking the P I double S out of people, and that is quite literally what I do on the regular, even more so after a drink or two, and there I was thinking it was an illness when really it is a talent of some sort that deserves to get paid big bucks.
All in all it was a great evening, and Russell was his usual hilarious, genius self. Whether it was worth fifty quid I am not entirely sure. Maybe it's because we live in a world where every other person is depressed, and where laughter is the best medicine, in which case an hour and half's dosage is proabably a reasonable deal. Although I cannot help thinking that Prozac would probably be cheaper.
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